i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im having a threesome with these popsicles
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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