just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My breasts were aching with rage.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
