Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
