He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
