i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Gay?
German.
Pity.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
