Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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