No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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