HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
