You can't special order awesome
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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