what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize