I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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