She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
