i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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