I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize