Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
