I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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