Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
