Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
