i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
