Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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