I hate all girls vehemently.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize