I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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