hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
