I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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