i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
