Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
