Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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