Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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