Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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