butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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