Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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