why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
