So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
