Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
