brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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