My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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