i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
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I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
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I would ride that face into the sunset
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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