So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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