you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize