Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
