He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The air was thick with penises
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
