have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
