Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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