Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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