if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
