Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
