When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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