On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
