if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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