i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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