Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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