it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
