You work out of a Hotel?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
