I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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