nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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