does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish life had little blips of pornography
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
