I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
don't judge my taste in strippers
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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