hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
