I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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