but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
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These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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