Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
