We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
