it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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