Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Randomize
