**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Randomize
