He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize