there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
