If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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