He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
