Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I could make wine with my vomit
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
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The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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