does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
